Texas Unites...

... in spinning our wheels for yet another year.

This three-day seminar is back, but even with cutesy marketing, it won't get us any closer to being a No-Kill state. Instead, it'll the same old same old, with a big emphasis on how to efficiently push paper, hassle rescuers you don't like, and be a better bureaucrat. Perfect for those hoping for a career in committee-sitting. And of course, the HSUS and Texas Humane Legislation Network will somehow "sponsor" something.

And if memory serves correctly, some Dallas Animal Services employees got to spend three days in Austin last year attending the 2010 Texas Unites conference. This is the same Dallas Animal Services that distinguished itself in so many ways during the rest of 2010.

Anyway, here are your choices. You can fork out $200 (not including accommodation at the Renaissance Hotel, that's $109 a night extra) and do Texas Unites for three days, or you can pay $19.95 and attend Nathan Winograd's Building A No-Kill Community seminar. True, Austin offers visitors a bit more than Houston, and the Renaissance is nice. Building a No-Kill Community will be held in the auditorium of a law school. No open bar or opportunities to schmooze with your fellow committee-sitters (sigh). But it all depends on your priorities, I guess.

Building A No-Kill Community is being held on a Saturday - this means we office drones can go without taking time off. (I'm already paid up.) If you're doing the entire Texas Unites, you'll need to take a day off. But at least you get to spend the weekend in Austin.

Texas Unites wins one award: the Incredibly Bad Taste distinction. One seminar subject - prosecuting animal control officers for animal cruelty - is literally called Animal Control Officers Gone Wild. Like there's anything funny or sexy about the subject.